A few words

Yesterday one of my co-workers from Boulder Fire Rescue lost his only two daughters in a car crash near their home.  Heading into yesterday I was totally wiped from riding much, maybe too much, reeling from that and really just kind of feeling crappy and tired.  I pulled up to Station One on my bike ride home to say hello and found out what had happened that morning.  He found out while working, getting the call from his wife who told him to come to the hospital.  It was bad.  

Haven't been sleeping much or well lately, stressed about RAAM and other random stuff that comes and goes but mostly comes on strong overnight when things get lonely, regardless of where you are or who you're with.  Last night was a tough night.  I have absolutely no idea what it's like to lose both of your daughters in an instant, the one basically dying on scene and the other waiting to have her organs donated.   

I got called into work this morning and felt like that was where I needed to be.  Figured I maybe got a couple hours of sleep last night, but still felt like I needed to come in and commune with the guys I spend a good portion of my life with.  

Riding home from Station One didn't hurt as bad yesterday and really we shouldn't complain. Life is stressful.  RAAM is inherently stressful and tests our mettle well before we turn over the first pedal stroke, enroute to Annapolis.  It's odd, but I'd give up every single night of sleep for the rest of my life if my co-worker and his family could have their daughters back for one more hour.

It just ain't as tough as it could be.